It just hit me that I should probably share this with the interwebz :) I have this great (somewhat hilarious) trick I use when the anger is building and I'm about to blow... My general modus operandi is that I take things out on inanimate objects: the TV, computer, phone... a lot of electronics, I guess! hah... It's typically just general bitching, but it seems to get the job done most of the time. The only time I hate this about myself is when someone else is around to witness it. It always ends up making them feel bad or uncomfortable, and I certainly don't want that. People who know me pretty well, though, know to just leave me alone and never, ever take my inanimate object-oriented rage personally.
In any case, although I express my anger pretty freely, I definitely don't like the feelings or vibes that anger creates. All that negativity is totally unhealthy and I happen to believe that those who live stressful, unhappy lives, filled with constant negative energy are the types that end up with cancer, MS, IBS, or other general sicknesses. Stress highly compromises your immune system anyway, so it only makes sense to me that the more negativity you have in your life, the sicker and sicker you will become.
I had this thought a few years ago, and tried it out. It's common knowledge that smiling, laughter, joy and positive energy have incredible health benefits. Plus, it's just generally preferable to feel good as opposed to any other alternative! So, I thought "Why not try to smile when you're getting angry?" It's a funny thought, and smiling or laughing is sometimes difficult to do when you're irate.
So I tried it... and I can't even begin to describe the short circuit that took place in my body & brain. It was amazing! I was absolutely fuming over something I can't even recall now, and I remembered my resolve to try smiling. I immediately thought, "That's just freaking stupid. I don't want to smile right now...I'm mad!" But I did it anyway, and the results just blew me away.
I was physically unable to remain angry! It's like that physical act of turning the ends of your lips upward completely short circuits the brain, floods you with feel-good sensations, and immediately overpowers the negative.
What's even better is that you feel so silly smiling (1) at nothing, and (2) when you're angry, that it's like a literal, emotional oxymoron, which in turn causes you to laugh at yourself, therefore completely flooding out the negative with utterly positive vibes. The anger diffuses instantly!
I'd say the majority of people do not know how to properly manage their anger in a healthy, beneficial way. People typically bottle it up until they explode, or express it more freely and more often (like I do). Bottling it up is generally catastrophic. People end up getting hurt, things are said that aren't meant, and it starts killing you from the inside, out. Either that, or the anger turns inward and manifests itself into depression, which is also catastrophic. On the other hand, people who express it more freely and more often, tend to splash it all over the place and fail to channel it properly. People end up getting hurt, things are said that aren't meant, and it begins affecting relationships with others. It can also build a tolerance... what used to satisfy your anger now doesn't, and it takes more to fully express and dissolve it. Eventually, you hit a brick wall, and lose control. Few people express their negative emotions in a healthy, effective, beneficial manner, so we seek out techniques to help us learn...
I urge everyone to try this awesome technique. No need for anger management... all you have to do is force a smile! It's never really failed me. And once you've tried it, come back here & leave me a comment :)
Yep, that's what I learned... success quite often is not achieved by way of talent. Perhaps the first few stepping stones relied on talent, but when it all comes down to it, success is more often reached via excellent business and people skills.
On the flip side, I've seen countless employees with outstanding talent who will never be anything more than an employee. I'm sure for some, it's fear, and for others, it's complacency or lack of ambition. The managers that take advantage of those rare gems should be ashamed of themselves. The gems should demand more respect (especially in the form of cash).
