Cafe Gratitude Questions of the Day

What is a failed expectation that is causing you suffering?

I almost skipped over this question today, as I'm not trying to make anyone look bad, but I reconsidered because it really should be expressed, and this is a great place for that!  Some of us have certain people in our lives that continuously let us down in one way or another.  Why, then, do we keep them in our lives?  I know when it's a family member, it's easy to understand why, but some of us put ourselves through undue stress with those who could be removed from our lives.  It's a balance thing, I think.  We can all handle being let down from time to time, but when it begins to outweigh the positive effect that person has on your life, it's time to move on.  

I personally struggle with a couple of people that are this way.  One, I could let go of, and have let go of before, but for some reason we keep reuniting.  The other, I can't quite let go of, as I'm stuck in the middle of a situation that requires my involvement, and requires this person to live up to their end of a deal, which they're not doing, partially due to unforeseen circumstances, mostly due to avoidable circumstances.  Bad decision making on their part has put me in quite a bind, but I'm not really stressing over it.  Things always fall into place, and always will.  Actually... what's funny (and I just realized this) is that the first expectation-failure is the one I'm counting on to bail me out of the other failure's doing.  lol... how ironic. I just hope it all works out, as I'm sure it will :)  

What would you like to share?

What a great question!  So simple and necessary, yet something we never ask each other.  There's a lot I'd like to share, but if I had to choose one thing today, it'd probably be my utter joy to be back in Florida, and especially around this time of year.  I moved to NC for a while, and basically the entire time I was there, I wished I was in FL.  I was born and raised here and spent half my life in NC at my family's cabin. What I realized when living there was that it needs to remain a vacation place.. a haven to retreat to when you want to get away.  Florida is where I am happiest and feel most at home.  And the anticipation of the upcoming season is so great... October - March is my favorite time of year in Florida, and it's right around the corner!  

I have a ton of plans for celebrating the holidays, decorating my house, being all festive... one thing I'm definitely looking forward to is seeing my cousin's new baby during the Christmas holiday.  They're coming down to visit, and I'll finally get to see little Nicki!  It's bittersweet seeing all the photos and videos.  I don't think my grandparents could be more thrilled to have their first great-grandchild :)  Life is good!  

Cafe Gratitude Questions of the Day

What are you not trusting?

It's interesting to me... when we're kids, we're full of trust.  That childlike optimism, and ability to live in the moment is what many strive to rediscover and regain.  Each time we experience betrayal, pain or trauma, a few more bricks are added to the wall we inevitably build as we age.  The Innocent is a highly powerful and necessary archetype that gives us the energy and ability to take on new experiences (relationships, job ventures, etc.).  Without optimism, innocence and some level of trust, we would have great difficulty making major changes in our lives.  With trust being directly related to fear, perhaps you could ask the question, "What do you fear?" instead.

Sometimes it's easier to admit what you fear, rather than what you don't trust.  I fear losing control / freedom.  I was raised in an environment where money seemed to equal freedom.  "Without money, you will struggle.  With money, you have the freedom to go where you want and do what you want." Therefore, I've also always feared lack of money.  Interesting, though, how I chose the path I've taken thus far.  I wanted money, but I also wanted daily freedom from rigid schedules, dealing with bosses that are generally dumb, punching a clock, answering to any authority... Not to say that's necessarily a right or wrong way of thinking, but it is what it is.

Some of the bigger questions I might ask are, do you trust yourself?  Do you trust God/the Universe/your Higher Power?  I can say that I do.  I lose faith from time to time, of course, but on a large scale, I can confidently answer yes.  I believe when you find trust in yourself/your higher power (aren't they one in the same?), there is nothing you can't accomplish once you let go of the fears holding you back, and surrender to trust, love and peace.  Often, the very thought of surrender elicits even more fear in people.  This is what we must overcome if we're ever to find peace.

Who do you love?

My immediate answer would be the obvious... my family, friends & pets.  Although it can be difficult & requires some reminding, I strive to learn to love everyone...  those I disagree with, those who have hurt  or wronged me, those I've never met or never will meet, etc.  History's most enlightened and influential people taught this simple rule (think Jesus, Gandhi...) and for obvious reason, it's the most difficult for humans to accept and integrate into their lives.  We're just not evolved enough yet.